Habibi, the Price is Right at 70-79$

Habibi, the Price is Right at 70-79$

Habibi, the Price is Right

Post Content (with emojis version of title at the top):
??️ Habibi, the Price is Right at 70–79$ ??
The Call That Never Happened (But Might Have)

? I was just updating my crude oil chart when suddenly… my phone rang.
No caller ID. I answered. And somehow— I was patched into a live call between:

?? Trump and ?? the King of Saudi Arabia.

They mistook me for a translator.
So naturally, I stayed on the line.
Here’s how the oil market actually got settled...

?? Trump: “Hello? Who is this? I have the best phone security. The Chinese can’t hack it. Nobody can.”
?? King: “Donald, ya’ani... it’s me!”
?? Trump: “Me who? I know the most people, you sound like an immigrant, do you have a visa?”
?? King: “Your King of Saudi Arabia, habibi! Your favorite oil guy! I can afford all the Visas and Mastercards!”

?? Trump: “My King! My favorite King, my guy, what a Tremendous timing. Oil prices are way too high. I need cheap oil to start my tariff wars again! ”
?? King: “Habibi, we said $88! We need to fund flying taxis and desert ski slopes. The Line isn’t building itself, ya’ani.”

?? Trump: “But I gave you the PGA Tour! LIV Golf is huge ! You’re welcome.”
?? King: “ Mashallah , yes... but we paid this Tiger Woods $800 million just to say no. Wallah , that’s expensive rejection, Donald.”

?? Trump: “That’s nothing my King. Peanuts. Melania’s token did better than that. Peanuts my King, peanuts for the camels. What about $76?”
?? King: “Cristiano Ronaldo costs $200M a year! And he wants an oasis with seven pools! And now we want Messi from Miami and Ronaldinho. Mashallah! ”

?? Trump: “I need lower gas prices my King or I can’t revive the economy!
And you made Messi cry in the World Cup, my King — not my fault. You kicked his ass, not my fault..I need to check on his visa if he is legally in my great country (again) or i will send him to El Salvador and you can get him cheap from there”

?? King: “Inshallah. But we’re also building a ski slope in the desert. With real snow.
We need $88.88 oil Donald! 88$ minimum”

?? FXPROFESSOR: “Uh... sorry to interrupt... I don’t know how I got on this call... but I think I can help.
I understand charts.”

?? Trump: “Who is that?!I know the voice, who is that?”

?? FXPROFESSOR: “I’m the FXPROFESSOR. And I might have a solution for you.
It’s called… The Compromise Zone. ”

?? King: “Ya’ani… go on.”

?? FXPROFESSOR: “$70–79. That’s where the technicals align.
Trump gets a few more months below that, help him with low oil for inflation until he can deal with Powell, then you two take it sideways in that range 70-79$ and you get stability for The Line, the AI and all the great things the Kingdom is working on.”

?? Trump: “I know the Professor! I follow him on TradingView. Genius. Huge brain. One of the best brains. I bought Ethereum at 4400$ because of him and I'm down 60% but it's ok..peanuts, great guy the Professor, great guy”

?? King: “Inshallah. But we still have losses. Ya’ani... Donald, how do we cover them? And how did this guy get on our call habibi”

?? Trump: “Easy King, it's easy! We launch a Great meme coin together, me and you, the greatest token in the world. We call it — $KINGOFARABIA —meme token, we Pump it on Solana. We'll pump it like you pump Oil. Gonna be Great, we will Cover the gap my King.”

?? King: “We tried blockchain before. Royal IT guy lost the wallet. Had to… correct the situation. Plus i also invested on Ethereum Donald, Solana is for the kids and the stuff”

?? Trump: “Let's find a solution my King and i will do this for you: I’ll send Jerome Powell. A gift. Let him run your rates. Take him for free (please take him)”

?? King: “Jerome is good for my country, he is so cold he will make the temeratures drop 2 degrees, ok we take him but One more thing Donald… I want Taylor Swift at my nephew’s wedding? And please she comes dressed properly and act respectfully”
?? Trump: “Done. Nobody says no to me. Except from the Feds, the Europeans, the Japanese, Canada and the penguins i taxed by accident. But that's ok, we make America Great again. I will send you the new Trump memorabilia collection, the best MAGA t-shirt for you my King. It's still made in China but it's soon to be made here at home, soon. ”

?? King: “Wait Donald! I just remembered.. Also... we want UFC in Riyadh, for ever! Big events. I want Dana White to agree and i want a podcast with Josh Rogans.”

?? Trump: “I’ll talk to Joe Rogan, great guy Joe. I’ll call Dana. Maybe Khabib makes a comeback. I know fighters. Strong fighters. Big ratings. They love me. They love you too my King”

? And that’s how oil found balance between memes, monarchs, and macro.

? Chart Insights – USOIL 12h

❌ $93 = clear rejection
? Compromise Zone: $70–79
? $88 = Saudi’s macro target
? $70 = Trump’s inflation floor
? Consolidation expected unless OPEC or Powell shift the game


? What do you think? Are we just memeing the macro?
Or is this really how the oil market works in 2025?

One Love,
The FXPROFESSOR ??

Disclaimer: This is a fictional satire written for entertainment and educational purposes.
Any resemblance to real negotiations is purely… coincidental.
The chart is real, though — and so is the technical compromise.

Special Salam and much love to my friends in Saudi Arabia ?? — the most wonderful people I’ve met in the world.The image is not of the new King but that's ok, great image.It's great! ❤️

Read More

Share:

Latest News